Communication: Can We Just Talk?

advice-TaoCan we just talk?

Communication is the number one issue across the board in relationships – personal or professional. We talk at each other instead of with each other. We avoid addressing the things that make us uncomfortable. Even worse, we run from conversations that make us feel vulnerable.

Given our lack of coping skills and avoidance techniques that range in the thousands, how to do overcome what keeps us afraid, angry, ignorant and immobile? 

It isn’t like the subject hasn’t been address by those far greater prepared and the expertise, imho, spans several areas for drawing solutions. Daniel Goleman speaks of emotional intelligence. Howard Gardner address multiple intelligences and Peter Senge touts the learning organization and systems thinking to get things rolling in the right direction. There are many others that could be included as well. We tend to compartmentalize and segment our approaches when perhaps a holistic approach is what we really need.

Some years ago after giving the corporate ladder and my marriage the best I could possibly offer (or so I thought) and having both worlds crumble, I spent a year in self-examination and analysis with the help of a number of folks qualified beyond measure to assist. I love to go deep and knowing self is tantamount to understanding others, or so the story goes.

As I explored the depths, the same notion kept coming up…. just talk. Okay… How? Of course communication doesn’t happen by just talking; it happens from how we talk but more so how we listen. Communication is a symbiosis of gesticulation, words and understanding.

celest-meditationDuring that year I went from approaching $60K to less than $6K in income and the attending self-deprecating thoughts and feelings one experiences from lack of opportunity and/or performance. My life was in shambles and I let my family down. That sounds terrible, and it felt that way. I have to say it was also one of the best years of my life. I was able to get really quiet, listen and observe my feelings and thoughts.

I found an oasis in the desert, literally, and began to restore my life. Living in Phoenix seemed only too appropriate since I was living the legend. I also found a lot of unanswered questions about building relationships and, more importantly, finding fulfillment. My first attempts were devastating, mostly through no fault of my own. My own innocence and naivety of human nature brought the house down. So I had to rebuild and remodel with new material.

Then I got a break. I had the opportunity to produce a television show. I had gotten involved with the Christown Lions Club and a public access program they sponsored. When the time came, the opportunity literally fell in my lap without saying a word. I treated it with the honor and respect I felt it deserved and although I was asked to do a kind of ‘new age’ show I opted for staying more mainstream. I’d had a bad experience on the radio with a ‘new age’ event I helped produce and I didn’t think it wise to set myself up for more uninformed public trials and tribulations.

One World became an avenue to explore how we integrate inner and outer realities, work through common fears and learn how to communicate effectively across the gamut of relationships. It was an education of many lifetimes with over 100 shows over about two years, done live to tape and no post production. I was scared of making mistakes initially, but gradually loosened up. It’s actually where ‘Zen’ began to emerge. About a half-dozen shows in the crew started calling me Zen. It came from the ‘subtitle’ of Zendor that I was using as a tongue-in-cheek ‘door to what is’ reference. The latter is a story for another time.

In the process of production, I met a gentleman who had founded a homeless transitional facility called New Day Educational Center. I had interviewed him and a graduate about their divergent yet serendipitous engagement. A few months later he approached me with an opportunity to do a commercial show on community activism and, even though it meant giving up the public access show, I jumped at the chance. I thought I could begin to generate conversations that could help Phoenicians connect and build better communities of practice and service.

Obviously it was still quite the amateur approach, but I still like the intro to the promotional video we produced. It carries a message even today.

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Sensibility and Sensitivity

Yellowstone_tourist_stands_on_a_precipice.Sensibility and Sensitivity

Approaching the Edge

Sensitivity to everything around you can cause you to feel like you are on a precipice, approaching the edge, ready to jump and fall or fly at any moment. This sensitivity is much more than just being psychic, it touches the very fiber of our core being. Sensitives of this sort often feel like they are a live wire with current flowing profusely. More succinctly – hyper-sensitivity of the sensory array.

Once on that precipice, however it is achieved, life changes drastically. One cannot really say for sure just what will happen once we step off into the unknown. We begin to ask questions that are begging to be asked out loud. You’ve got an idea of what is happening from the inside, but you have no idea if others around you are on the same page as you. In most cases, they aren’t. Deeply sensitive people aren’t as rare as you think. They hide really well, too.

My senses got blown open in college when my mind was so open it acted like a sieve, but with really good data mining from the flow through. I seriously thought I was going nuts until a friend had me shut up and listen really closely to the sound of the voices. They weren’t mine, but I had perceived they were in an all-out-attack on me because of hearing the “You….” preface the massively self-deprecating messages. I thought it was all about ‘me.’ That’s the kind of attention that makes one lock themselves in their dorm room and not come out for a while.

Over the years the sensitivity has become manageable, although sometimes the noise get a little annoying when I’m around people who have a lot of cognitive dissonance. They can be perfectly gracious and well-intentioned, but the sensation they exude is one of rapid vacillation and it’s a buzz I could personally do without. I have enough of my own challenges, thank you. My thoughtmospheric activity is already overwhelmingly complex, even in the simplicity of mindfulness. It still feels like I’m standing on a precipice when I engage others in conversation. I have a penchant for exposing bad habits and it always happens whether I like it or not. It’s how I’m wired… or wirelessed.

Those conversations spiral around the notion of being able to magnetize the thoughtmosphere toward passion with purposeful mission and have it resolve as the path revealed. We all would simply LOVE that to happen. When it does, though, the overwhelming majority of folks run for cover. The idea that things can be connected is one thing. When everything around one begins to show signs of a huge mirror, embracing them from all directions, it is a huge shock to the ego and fear-based life preceding that moment. When a ‘moment’ of complete connectedness is experienced and shared both verbally and viscerally, then there is cause for celebration. Celebration occurs for another ‘moment’ and then things move on. We don’t linger.

I’m always looking for ways to say more with less. I’m rather verbose, so that is an extreme challenge. However, in thinking about what is being shared in my particular areas of interest (consciousness & harmony among people and planet) I find the majority of focus is on the research and study of outdated practices and theories and the current ‘theme of the day’ takes precedence over direct experience and experimentation. If we are going to move forward we need to be experimenting with the abilities, skills and talents that are developing amongst us all.

I have done my fair share of research and study over the years. Heck, I’ve got two Master’s degrees and nearly a dozen books on various topics. Going into the litany of accomplishments any more would be boastful. I have to say that without the research and study we’d be bereft of understanding what has come before us. We’re in drastic times now as our people and planet are in peril. We cannot even get along yet, so restoring our eco-system is like an ad hoc system with poor interfacing at best. That is a much bigger issue, though. I’m looking at what is right in front of us, someone else. Face to face communication and experiential training is how the old guys and gals did it. I think we can do it through multi-media and the thoughtmosphere now. Ah, but what is ‘it?’

I like to share from direct experience, though, and engage others to create a conversation that blends our energy and perhaps may offer further evidence of just how connected we really are on multiple levels. Multiple levels span artistry to telepathy and wind through chemistry and quantum science along the way. How would that really look and feel? That can be pretty unsettling to some, especially if they aren’t used to feeling so connected. The symptoms of a paranoid schizophrenic could manifest easily. At least that is what the DSM V would have you believe.

In reality, it is the highly sensitive person who often cannot distinguish between the real and the imagined. If the onset of telepathic experiences isn’t recognized, the experiencer is challenged by even the most basic of choices. In close proximity, the open minded are hit with an onslaught of unhealthy habits. Those habits are the self-deprecating thoughts we carry with reckless abandonment. Our thoughts are unmonitored, let alone uncontrolled. Sensitive telepaths unaware of their ability become fearful and mistrust their intuition and presentation of the most healthy opportunities. They cannot let go and risk feeling out of control, so their actions seem counter-intuitive.

Now, back to ‘it’ for a moment. What do you think ‘it’ might be? I’m not sure ‘it’ can truly be defined in words on a page, but in the moment of experiencing it feels like being embraced by the universe. It feels like everything just clicks in or locks in to a moment of feeling completely connected. Maybe you’ve never had that feeling. I hope you have, because that sensation, however momentary it may be, gives us the courage to face our insurmountable odds with persistence and a positive attitude.

I just finished another book, expanding on some work already completed. It’s about the beginning of my sensitivity and how it came… Near-Death of a Different Sort.

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Dreams to Reality

Dreams to RealityDreams to Reality

Let’s face it. We all have dreams. We all have goals. Are they congruent? Does our inner life reflect in our outer life? Do we show up authentically or do we make believe and work toward something that mocks our dreams instead?

We’ve heard that goals are dreams with deadlines, but are they?

Over the years in both my personal and professional lives I’ve found that folks don’t seem to follow their dreams. Why is that? We can identify all sorts of reasons, but what are the simple and most profound ones? Could it be that we don’t feel worthy? Could it be that we really don’t believe they are possible? Could it be that we have conflicting belief systems that cause us to self-sabotage or refuse to open the door when an opportunity knocks?

Worse yet, do we run away when what we’ve asked for shows up in our reality?

The latter seems to be the most recognizable for me. I’ve been fortunate, even blessed, to have had so many opportunities to perform on a variety of stages in life. I’ve been scared to death of failing and yet risen to the occasion in spite of those fears. I’ve learned the fear is also a door. On the other side of it are phenomenal rewards. People are used to having their dreams and hopes dashed and fall into the rut of ‘if it’s too good to be true it probably is.’ How destructive that is when the exact opposite is the fulfillment of our dreams. If part of us is in denial of the possibility, then how can the other part of us perform at peak levels?

How do we translate our dreams to reality?

I watched myself go through these stages, from fear to joy to despair when others have shown up in my life with similar if not the same dreams and goals only to snap back into some fear-laden rhetoric inside their heads and disappear into the shadows as a result. It seems many run from fulfillment and joy. Why? Many books have been written on that subject.

It wasn’t until my mid-40s that I uncovered a cognitively dissonant belief I held that was causing those same patterns… risk, reward and release. I’d risk being vulnerable and step up to the plate, hit a double and knock a couple of runs in and then get stuck on base. Home was something I only saw from a distance. I realized that the emotional pattern had been set up deeply when I was orphaned at birth, but never realized how destructive it was until I took a really hard look in the mirror with the question of ‘Why?’ in regards to continued false starts and short-term relationships.

So, I began wondering if the same pattern was also part of the thoughtmospheric conditions in others; “I have a lot to offer, but you are going to reject me.” It seems we show up full of vim, vigor and vulnerability, but we have this inner self-deprecation that takes place as far as being worthy of the rewards that we sorely appreciate and even suffer to attain. There’s this internal dialog that tells us it isn’t going to work or it’s too much of a leap of faith to let go of where we are to have what we desire. We can’t let go of the past in order to move into the future… and it happens in the moment. We butt-pucker and yank the reigns hard.

The same pattern happens all over our lives, in our relationships both personally and professionally. We carry around unspoken and unfulfilled expectations that we never talk about and wonder why they are never addressed. Speaking up feels like being too vulnerable and we’d surely be rejected if people knew the insanity going on inside our heads, but we let it continue. We don’t communicate, except to the committee in our head. It’s no wonder we’ve got a nation (world) of addicts and self-medicators, numbing themselves out to the very things that offer freedom and, ultimately, JOY.

Transform Your Life

Transform Your Life

So perhaps translating our dreams to reality might involve help from both inside and outside sources. Transformational life coaching is one of the resources that is gaining popularity, although it still vastly underutilized. Of course many get ‘certification’ because they are still working on themselves but feel it’s their calling to help others. Those shingles belong on a roof and not on a door or wall, imho.

Finding someone with credentials that offer evidence of mastery internally and externally is often a challenge, but they are out there. Changing your life means changing the way you think, first of all. Find someone that challenges how you think and invites you to think differently. Your life will transform as a result, but it won’t happen over night.

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Undisturbed Calmness

Undisturbed calmness-Zen-SRF

Undisturbed Calmness

That sure is a tall order for the average person in today’s world. It’s nearly impossible to stand undisturbed in the emotional tsunami that surrounds us everywhere we go. We’re pushed and pulled in every direction while we navigate the travails of our daily activities on the ocean of emotion.

It surely is a challenge to keep our sanity with so much turmoil in our world. The insanity of how humans treat humans seems almost impossible to change. Liabilities, limitations and excuses keep us from making the simple choices to clean up our thinking, affecting our behavior. Calmness comes from clarity; vision with an emptiness of desire or prejudice.

We seek to create the life we want to live. The frustrations mount when we don’t see immediate results. We hope and pray that we’re doing the right things as we wait for the signs to reflect. We strive to calm the inner dialog that seems to run rampant in times of high stress. The chaos to order scenario is hardly a notion that calms us in the depths of an emotional quagmire. Yet it can happen. We CAN be quiet.

Stilling the mind in the midst of the mayhem, perturbations plaguing the peace within, is simpler than we may think. In fact, our thoughts are so available to observe that once we begin to do so, changes happen automatically. Expecting to completely overhaul our thoughtmosphere in a short time is rather silly. It took a long time to get here. Relax, enjoy the journey back to center and make fun of yourself whenever possible. It helps to release the grip of the pattern.

You will be surprised how, completely unannounced, amazing things begin to show up. First, sporadically and then with more regularity as you come back to center more often. It’s important to breathe deeply when you have a moment, reminding you to relax and let go. Just when you are least expecting it…. something or someone will enter your world to make it all worthwhile.

It happened to me just the other day. The heavens opened and ‘coincidence’ caught up with ‘providence.’ It was quite obvious upon review. The day started with an invitation to a spiritual discussion group at a local Baha’i center. The discussion was about ‘family’ and the virtues that strong family values empower. I’ve got a wonderful extended family, but no one as a partner in life. Afterward, some friends and I decided to meet at a Barnes & Noble to catch up on life and share recent successes.

We met in the cafe’ at Barnes & Noble and had quite a wonderful conversation about the recent events in all our lives. A woman was sitting near us and I noticed she was reading The Scarlet Letter. I made a flippant comment about not seeing anyone read the book in a long time. My friends engaged her as well and, realizing that there was an ease of communication and natural affinity developing, invited her to join us.

Over the course of the next few hours evidence began to arise that this ‘chance’ meeting wasn’t so coincidental. A conversation took us into deeper and deeper recognition that our meeting was destined to move us both into a better position for fulfilling our dreams and goals. Perhaps those details will benefit many in the next few years. The trials and tribulations that produced the opportunity to discover the process to calmness produced a life-altering connection.

I’m grateful for all that has gotten me here now. More later…

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Spring Cleaning and Social Engineering

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Spring Cleaning and Social Engineering

Perhaps the title of this article might stimulate some visuals of dusting off the bookshelves while trying to figure out how to manage your career change and/or social schedule. One of my mentors used to talk about cleaning out the ashtrays, even though he wasn’t a smoker. Sometimes we just need to clean up our lives a bit and challenge the future in the process.

I had to make a change recently, not feeling completely comfortable and in flow with the process, in order to fulfill and agreement I’d made with my life partner of the past decade or so. A door opened for the moment and, although it didn’t feel like it was going to last long, I made the move. Wow, did I get a wake-up call in short order.

Being responsible for creating everything in your life is a tall order. Sometimes what we create forcibly turns around to give us a real clear vision of our cognitive dissonance. Even when agreements are made and contracts signed, that doesn’t mean that the performance of the parties will be congruent with the stated mission and purpose of the alignment. What I mean by that is people aren’t always honest, but show up as they are over time for all to see.

I tend to look at my immediate environment and extrapolate the cosmic significance in order to understand the bigger picture of how people play (or not) and what it really means to create harmony among people. People often say they want balance and harmony, but how they show up in life simply prohibits it and they tend to blame everyone around them instead of looking in the mirror. I got a harsh look in the mirror that offered still deeper levels of an old pattern I uncovered a decade ago. I’ve been working through it and am still challenged by it evidently.

Changing beliefs is easy, or so we think. Somehow, though, my nemesis showed up once again… “I have a lot to offer, but you will reject me.” Do you have something like that rolling around in your head and/or heart? I know where it came from – being orphaned. As an adoptee I found my search for depth in life was far more important than anything else. It still is and I’m not triggered by behaviors of others, but so many are still. The first sign is when others project their opinions like, “You think your are better than… ” It sucks when people do that and nothing anyone can say will change that belief. It’s locked and loaded.

The whole concept of feeling like one needs to help others to heal usually comes from a deeply wounded individual that hasn’t found their own healing yet. The old adage of ‘we teach what we need to learn’ certainly applies if we are listening. The thing is it takes deep listening or gazing in the mirror to see yourself in that way. Most folks tend to reject that view and act out aggressively. It’s sad to see it happen, even heart-wrenching when you are in the middle of it. It’s even more disappointing when you’ve made every attempt to be the change you with to see and it just ain’t happenin’ around you.

So how do we show up? Are we really authentic or do we have layers and layers of masks that we use to hide from the truth? Do we honor others or usurp their power for our own purpose and steal their energy and resources with no respect offered? Do we give with no expectation of return or do we play the invisible reach around with a hidden agenda that is obvious to others but oblivious to our own sight? Do we play the victim card or do we acknowledge the choice we made to be out of integrity?

We all have our agendas and reasons for behaving certain ways. I certainly stepped out of bounds and held back in expressing my own needs in order to fulfill the needs of another. Sometimes that is the best and most gracious way to be in life. However there is a balance, a harmony of self and others that we often find challenging. We rarely communicate our true feelings, let alone ask for feedback from others about how we appear to show up in our relationships.

If we are unable to do that in our personal relationships, those that are closest and most sacred, then how can we expect to show up in a professional environment any differently? I think it was T. Harv Eker that said, “What you do anywhere, you do everywhere.” I think about that a lot. I review my authenticity, my intentions and my reflections as though my life depends on it. If I show up anywhere out of sync, then I probably show up everywhere out of sync. What do you think about that for your own life?

There is a lot of discussion about being able to anticipate the needs of our future business, social and technological needs. Analyzing trends is big business, but it still relies on historical values… past events. Yes, it is recent past in our current trending reviews, but still the past. It is my opinion that, looking through new eyes with the review of how we show up and the reflections we get, we have an obligation to create a future that is harvesting the past while engaging a rapid growth cycle. That growth comes from authentic and effective communication at all levels of our lives. That is how we can “Be the change we wish to see.”

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Breathe Oneness

fingertips-breathe

Breathe Oneness

I was reminded of an experience in Las Vegas almost 20 years ago now, at a weekend workshop called ‘Vision.’ Of course it was about self-development and creating alignment with purpose, people, places and things in our life.

The last day we (180 or so) were thrust into a ballroom with the edict of ‘creating a miracle.’ The miracle happened when the partner (for the seminar) of one of guys put a rose in a vase in the center of the room, unbeknownst to him at the time. Shortly later he arose from a meditation on the side of the room, walked over to the rose and sat with it, cross legged.

Before too long he was weeping uncontrollably. Many came to his aide and attempted to ‘make it okay,’ desiring to pull him out of the seeming funk. He responded with, “No, you don’t understand… you don’t understand.” After several minutes the entire group, again unbeknownst to him, had surrounded him, with arms outstretched and embracing one another as he continue to weep completely oblivious of his surroundings. Then he stopped.

Through tear-soaked and swollen eyes he looked up at the group around him now, all 180+ in a huge group hug…. simply loving in the silence of the embrace. He smiled and arose, wobbly from the outpouring. Someone asked him what happened. He said it was like the rose was a connection to the Earth and all the sorrow came pouring through it and into him.

It evidently began to subside as the group gathered around him, first wanting to push or pull him into a different place instead of allowing him to just BE in that moment. When they finally did just allow and embraced each other in a loving ‘unknowing’ the energy shifted and the sorrow subsided. The miracle had occurred.

In his statements about the experience he expressed the deep sorrow he felt from the rose vis a vis the planet and her deep despair regarding our treatment of each other and her simultaneously. It was nearly unbearable as he noted the words he spoke to those who, early on, attempted to get him to come out of that obvious despair, not knowing truly what it was. His response of, “No, you don’t understand!” came from deep within that consciousness that was being shared with him through the rose.

Ultimately they all at least got the message of our inhumane treatment of each other and the planet and at least for a brief moment in time they had all released any and all bias, judgment, prejudice or whatever… and breathed in and out together in a an embrace of unconditional love. It was truly magnificent to witness, this breath of oneness.

Just in case you haven’t experienced a breathing as one event… try Do As One.

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Full Spectrum Approach

DreamHow do we incorporate the advantages of best practices in a full-spectrum approach to community building?

I’ve spent decades wandering about the various aspects of community development. I wanted to know how things worked. I produced a television show that allowed a deeper exploration of how people worked through fears and the commonality they found in personal, workplace and community relationships. We explored both inner and outer motivating factors. I found engaging City futures forums, community assessments and working in educational systems to be quite fulfilling for a time, then disappointing as they seemed to be plagued with sub-standard behavior and considerations for the future. I understand that society changes slowly and the resistance to change often creates war.

Those wars spill over into agenda constrictions and behavioral complexities that even the best organizational development consultants and facilitators find challenging. I liked one of the notions that came up in my MA program… that challenge and change are only three letters different. Removing the ‘lle’ (liabilities, limitations and excuses) automatically creates change. I was fortunate to be able to extend that thoughtmosphere into the realms of the local chapter of the American Society for Training and Development’s annual conference in 2010, titled, “The Shift: Challenge to Change; Removing liabilities, limitations and excuses in the workplace.”

I enjoyed teaching high school in a number of environments, while looking for a steady job in the business curriculum arena so I could become fully certified, which included district, charter and even a residential treatment center. Holistic systems always fascinated me, so I look for ways to improve upon existing arrangements to facilitate greater harmony among the people, places and things involved. It doesn’t always bode well. However, it prompted me to write a business plan for a model school to address the ‘at-risk’ students I found to be slipping through the cracks right and left.

Partial Answer to the Question:

My living partner, who I coaxed into the MA in Organizational Mangement program at the University of Phoenix, and I proceded to discuss and craft the plan while in our program together. We’d met as a result of our deep-seated desires to create highly functioning communities that integrated eco-systems and hi-tech solutions to engaging the citizens and nature, modeling a symbiosis of people, places and things that could provide future solutions to a variety of challenges. Our concern was to look at the big picture first and craft a scalable model that would emulate a best-practice-driven community.

We began by considering housing, including the natural circadian rhythms as well as planetary rhythms. We concluded that a 13-moon configuration would work well for the achievement of lunar-driven goals and objectives. As each month’s goals were met, movement to the next house would occur as a rite of passage, celebrated as well, with a full cycle granting the student a vote on the peer-community council’s administrative and facility management actions.Community building and operation is taught through the living environment as well as the curriculum. Each ‘house’ would extend the learning from the classroom and outdoor activity with developmental processes.

That is the beginning of the plan and perhaps it can stimulate other discussion and/or considerations for the community here. Holistic considerations can spill over into the subsets of communities that are being created around population centers now. They already include master-planned developments that have the standard civil planning or community components. Inclusion of advanced technology that included power generation and transportation options appears to be just sense made common. Commerce is taking a turn with the entrepreneurial co-working and incubator space developments. Why not associate those with a community development as well?

To grow our understanding and capacity for harmony with people, places and things in our future developments is imperative as we all know. I’m just another choir member whose thankful for a place to share something that, perhaps, may have some value. There is more if there is interest. Something that can offer an additional professional perspective is my work with construction partnering through Team Partnering. It may appear conservative in presentation.

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What is a Real Galactic Year?

galactichunab3What is a real galactic year?

A Matter of Perspective

The end of 2013 was challenging for me and my family.

Dad transitioned on Christmas Eve day. It was a great gift for him, having weathered a bout with Parkinson’s and its debilitating effects. Mom is suffering from Dementia, so it made it doubly hard for him in the end as he was more concerned for her than himself.

One good thing about the condition, sort of, is that she processed his passing rather quickly. I was not so blessed and his presence in my life lives on, deeply embedded in my efforts to serve the world.

Speaking of serving, last year seemed to have a clearing affect on my life in that everything that was a distraction was removed. I’ve been through those kinds of periods before, but they were short-lived and certainly less devastating. However, my prayers had been for release from everything that was keeping me from fulfilling a larger calling, one I’d been aware of since a teenager but that was not necessarily something I wanted to share with just anyone. The nature of the experience tends to repel most folks because it threatens their belief systems.

The notion of belief systems leads me into the title of this post and the choice of dating. Jose Arguelles and I had a conversation years ago that began a serious investigation into the nature of time for me. Later, he introduced the Law of Time as a need for the conversion to a lunar calendar because it is in harmony with natural cycles, something humans have discarded and ignored for the most part. Several calendars converged at the Winter Solstice in 2012 as the end/beginning of a cycle, a galactic year. Most agree this is a 26,000 year cycle where the Earth has traveled around the center of the Milky Way Galaxy.

After doing some research, though, the science estimates of the length of one orbit range from 225 to 250 million “terrestrial” years. According to NASA, the Solar System is traveling at an average speed of 828,000 km/h (230 km/s) or 514,000 mph (143 mi/s) relative to the galactic center, which is about one 1300th of the speed of light. If you could travel at that speed in a jet aircraft along the equator, you would go all the way around the world in approximately 2 minutes and 54 seconds. According to NASA, even at this incredible speed, it still takes the solar system 230 million years to orbit the center of the Milky Way Galaxy one time.

So, why the confusion?

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Distilling Reality

3d Cube LogoDistilling Reality

Robin and I were having a conversation about life and our transition this morning.

Since our break up over a  year ago, we’ve had some wonderful discussions about energy and soular paths and choices to change the plot amidst our story. Our solid relationship as friends allows us the freedom to continue to explore the depths of reality. The awareness of the choice to change the story happened many years ago when she felt the ‘fantasy’ of our life together just didn’t work for her.

Let me back up for a moment and explain how I interpreted her entrance into my life. I was rehearsing a presentation, with my eyes closed in a kind of meditative place, and when I reached the end I was surprised when a woman stepped out of the darkness in front of me. She was faceless, but had curly blonde hair that was pulled back at the top and had an attractive physique, too. Her only words to me were, “Okay, are you ready to get to work?”

I closed my notes, stuck them under my arm, held my other arm out for her to grasp and we walked off into the darkness. I came out of the meditation wondering if it was real. A month and a half later she showed up at my door after a fairly lengthy interaction from replying to a personal ad I had on AOL. Suffice it to say that she ignited my life in ways I had not experienced to date. It took nearly a year for us to cohabitate after a wild series of events in 2001, not the least of which was the WTC towers coming down. By the end of September I was living in her home with her teenage children, who weren’t prepared for having a man enter their home.

The following years were filled with magical situations that I’m sure seemed right out of a story book, including multiple metaphysical encounters that would have had most people running for cover. We began our relationship, by choice, on the foundation of faith, love and trust. We both had perspectives on life that allowed us to experience reality beyond the normal daily travails of the largely unconscious society in which we live. We are both highly intelligent people, gifted by educational or intellectual standards. We’re able to grasp concepts of both science and spirituality that stretch most folks beyond their comfort zone.

That being said, a few years later there was a rift in the force. Robin decided the ‘story’ needed a new twist and went back into the 9-5 realm of practical positions and regular paychecks. I completely understand why as it is an extreme challenge for folks to live on the fringe in faith, love and trust when they have a mortgage payment due. That’s just the reality of this world. We had the opportunity to move forward with some other things that were closer to our collective heart, but the mental constraints just weren’t going to let it flow.

Pertinent Points

Now that brings me to the point that came up this morning. It may seem abstract and yet relative to the concept of ‘flow’ in the process of life. There is, according to a lot of sources, a level of reality that is tied in to what one might call a soul-level experience. Now in this soul-level experience there is harmonic that resides within each person who is engaged in a lifestyle that holds the spiritual purpose or divine destiny at its root. This is a foundation that simply ‘is’ within the construct of reality as we know it. I’m sure there are many conflicting stories to this point, but for now I’m going with the potential of this soul-level experience being one that is running the show for most, if not all, of us.

When the choice to shift focus happens there is a change in the ‘force’ of the path of each and both simultaneously. The fact that we were such good friends and amicable people meant that it would take some time for things to work through and we’d have a number of bumps in the road as the reality of our eventual disengagement evolved toward our waking consciousness. We enjoyed each other, so it was quite some time before the incongruent energy of our collective reality surfaced to the point of being obvious to both of us. It may sound incredulous, but we really do get along well regardless of our relationship status. We are inherently curious and non-judgmental.

As we peered deeper into the nature of our reality it appeared that our current situation is unfolding just as we designed it. The consciousness of our intention to grow included doing the ‘work’ of understanding how relationships really work and being able to converse about it openly. I found that, over time, I was able to articulate some very deep levels of emotional perturbations as well as the view of soul-level foundation that presented a much clearer and unfiltered potential reality. We both realize that it’s just conversation, but it is a very powerful conversation nevertheless.

In the year we’ve taken to extricate ourselves (we’re not done yet) the process has allowed us to see things in ways that most people never have the opportunity to view. Too often relationships are torn asunder by uncontrollable emotional fits and/or separation anxiety that don’t allow one to think or behave in a rational way. Fear destroys rationality. Our ability to continue to perceive life through the faith, love and trust lens continues to offer wonderful insights and realizations that we share with each other, in conversations and often write about in our blogs or on-going drafts of the next book. Both of us are prolific thinkers and writers, so we process emotions and other considerations in many ways beyond the simple and straightforward responses that often accompany break ups.

Gratitude

I’m grateful for the opportunity to continue the work, even at a distance. What we also discussed was the possibility that even though the story has changed for us personally at this time, the long-term story continues in our ability to allow the Divine to interact with us on increasingly intimate levels. This notion led into a short discussion about how the harmonics of creation bring certain aspects of people, places and things together in order to increase the capacity for harmony to evolve within humanity. It is an ongoing process that presents us with the opportunity to see things beyond being ‘good’ or ‘bad’ … rather just how it ‘is’ in the moment without emotion.

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Translational Leadership in the 21st Century

voices from the fieldTranslational Leadership in the 21st Century

Translational leadership is a new buzz word spiraling around the playing fields of virtually every industry today. It’s loosely defined as one adept at connecting, mediating, teaching, behavioral economy and social engineering. They demonstrate an uncanny ability to knit together different constituencies and institutions, brokering relationships and transactions across different levels of political, economic and social organization. Perhaps a ‘harmonist’ might even be a better term.

What does that mean and how might we engage this concept as individuals who wish to contribute to developing a better world? People are the greatest resource. Most folks are so busy with their localized environment on a daily basis that even if they are engaged in a process or product that could change the world, they don’t have time to look up let alone look around them. These are the ones whose dedication and drive produce breakthroughs. Translational leaders would, by definition, be able to recognize and further expand their work through their connections with like-minded or complementary resources. The effectiveness of their work could indeed go from local to global in a relatively short time.

Those same dedicated individuals and/or groups also have strained communications at times. Not everyone listens or speaks with the same understanding and conflict arises. Translational leadership recognizes the diversity in a group, sometimes even between two individuals and is not only capable of commanding respect, they are adept at mediating and mitigating the potential problems. Issue resolution becomes another hat, a bit different than DeBono, and is a tool often used in the process of mission and vision fulfillment. These negotiators do their work with style and grace, stepping in when and where needed without restraint.

Setting an example for others is a primary component of translational leaders, teaching those around them by showing how the work is done. Most translational leaders are adept at engaging those around them by drawing upon personal inspiration and motivation to do their best. Translational leaders know they are responsible for the morale and tone of the working environment and act to ensure the voices of all are heard and recognized as valid. Everyone is part of the process, whatever it may be, and the lessons of developing effective communication result in performance excellence.

Behavioral economy is a relatively new term as well. The study of behavioral economics includes how market decisions are made and the mechanisms that drive public choice. A translational leader knows how to leverage the motivations of the personalities in their environment to engage better results. There is a kind of social currency involved here, where heightened individual influence weighs heavily on the outcome of the choices and decisions of the company, group or organization. It is usually a good thing when ideals, like the ISO 26000 Social Responsibility Standards, are in place.

Social engineering precepts are based on cognitive biases, specific attributes of human decision-making processes. In the purest sense it is the manipulation of those cognitive biases to produce specific choices and responses. Translational leaders use this technique as a facilitation technique to guide their teams to decisions that are in alignment with best practices for collaborative functionality, for instance. Of course the powerfully persuasive techniques can be used for less than beneficial results, but the ethical practices of the translational leaders are usually such that they will rise above petty temptations to use their power for personal gain at the expense of others.

As we move forward into the 21st Century there are obvious constraints and problems we face as a human race and planetary civilization. Our technology has surpassed the capacity for massive destruction. Our air, land and water have been polluted nearly beyond repair, yet we are resilient and can turn the tide of despair to a new destiny of repair through the efforts of these translational leaders. We can focus on fixing the world’s greatest problems and develop solutions that will benefit humankind when we learn how to get along better; a key feature of the translational leader’s guidance.

How can we assist these new leaders. Look for them. They may be anywhere and functional in the informal networks that develop within organizations. Promote them and offer your allegiance to those who prove worthy. Our world is changing rapidly and we need the best folks for the job in place so that we create sustainable relationships with present and future conditions.

Future thought… Adhocracy is a primarily structureless organization used to solve various problems. It is a type of organization that operates in opposite fashion to a bureaucracy. Would this type of organization be conducive to the translational leaders? Would the concept of ‘harmony’ be appropriate when considering the nature of facilitating people, places and things to do stuff?

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