Jesus has always played a huge role in my life. I used to sit in Sunday school class as a child and wonder how I could be more like him and I assumed everyone else did too. As I grew up, I was challenged by the trials and tribulations of the spiritual path in the discovery of the precepts of Christ Consciousness or better, Cosmic Consciousness. I know you will be challenged by reading further, but please don’t pray for my salvation. I’m already saved. 🙂
As I understand it from my years of inquiry Jesus was a messenger of a new way and proceeded to be an example, not a Savior. In fact, he taught personal responsibility not abdication, claiming instead that each of us is god just as he was, the Dead Sea Scrolls revealed this statement to Thomas. After the Council of Nicea, organized religion became a business of bridging church and state (emperor Constantine’s credit), and a lot of good intentioned people have been deceived into the fear, guilt and shame game.
In contrast, when I’ve shared my experiences I’ve often been rejected by the very folks that speak of such possibilities. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had Christians tell I’m full of Satan or under the influence of the Devil. Instead of not answering the door when Jehovah’s Witnesses or Seventh Day Adventists are out proselytizing, I love to engage them in conversation. I’m saddened by the focus on a book and dead words when the living word resides in their hearts and they continue to ignore it.
We all have moments that encourage us to continue, especially when we experience doubt and pain. Jesus helped me to rise out of some serious pain just after a divorce and maybe this sharing can help you too. Often we have a tendency to stiff-arm experiences that are beyond our current level of understanding. The belief and faith in a living being that transcended death was given awareness and direct experience of its truth on this day.
Now how you will feel or sense the following might give you some indication of just how open you are to divinely inspired spiritual events. Many profess to believe or have faith, but when faced with something outside their experience and/or demonstrable proof of a living presence today – the first response is denial and rejection. It appears to engage cognitive dissonance. There is a great mystery still, understanding how ‘God’ interacts with creation and humans specifically. If we knew it all there wouldn’t be any mystery for us to seek.
Doubt and skepticism are strong motivators in seeking knowledge, truth and/or wisdom. I had my own reservations about sharing my experience, let alone engaging it in the first place. I have a brilliant mind and voracious appetite for experience and knowledge, yet it all has to make sense from various perspectives or truth is still challenged to emerge in the light. We have our shadows, doubts and fears that our beliefs aren’t perfect or need to be challenged to make them come alive. I had to confront a number of internal conflicts I didn’t even know I had, just to be available to the experience.
I was invited to attend a spiritual retreat with a group of folks at Woods Canyon Lake, a pristine lake at about 6500 ft. elevation on the Mogollon Rim a little south of the Grand Canyon. I was glad to join them not knowing what to expect, but definitely looked forward to the cooler weather. It was still in the high 80ss, but it was much better than the hundred and teens we left in Phoenix. There were nine of us enjoying a weekend spiritual retreat led by Ed Cox, an associate of Ray Stanford and founder of the Association for the Unfoldment in Man. It had been planned for months. I was asked to go just a week prior as I had taken up residency in the house the group used for their meetings.
We stopped in Christopher Creek to unload our gear at the cabins that had been rented. Woods Canyon Lake was a few miles on up the road and we reached it just after noon. We found an area that was rather secluded, just off the end of the parking lot next to the lake. The lake itself covers 158 acres, so there is plenty of shoreline and secluded areas for privacy. We found an area with a fallen tree that was nearly 3 feet in diameter, a great bench looking over the water. The stump was clean and flat from the cut of the saw several years prior. We all sat down here.
The facilitator, Ed Cox (now on the other side), sat on a stump and the rest of the group (except me) was on the tree trunk which parallel to the shore of the lake. The group was able to look out at the lake from their positions. I sat cross-legged on a rock at the end of the log facing the facilitator with my back nearly to the lake (pic to right). There was a small inlet to my right that offered a view of the lake. There was a breeze wafting the smell of pine around as we enjoyed the cool mountain air in stark contrast to the heat of the Phoenix Valley. Being in this natural environment was really soothing.
As we got comfortable and began to engage our purpose for being there, Ed asked us to ‘act as if’ Jesus was in our presence. Interesting tactic, eh? I got excited instantly, feeling like He was always around whenever our thoughts ventured His way. However, inner turmoil surfaced immediately in most of the rest of the group. I could see it through their facial expressions. The silence was deafening for a bit. Several asked Ed how to speak to Him. I was amazed, dumbfounded and a bit shocked that none of the folks could bring themselves to a point of verbalization, let alone welcome Him into the surroundings. I sat there for a while just wondering how something this special could create such a chasm in one’s world.
I’m not one to wait for long, so after a few moments I could no longer hold back and blurted out, “Try this…. HEY DUDE, GLAD TO HAVE YOU HERE! LET’S PARTY!” Obviously a little over the top and, well, Ed didn’t care too much for it either. He grumbled a moment and I could tell he was a bit saddened that the ‘experiment’ didn’t produce better results. After a few moments of silence he suggested we prepare to do a guided meditation. He asked us to just close our eyes and take a few deep breaths to center and relax. It was so easy to just breathe and relax, allowing the quietness of the woods to envelope my senses. I had no idea what was about to happen.
I closed my eyes, took my first breath and instantly a vision unfolded. I was looking downward and saw two well-tanned hands come around from behind me at the level of my solar plexus. I felt like I could have touched them, they seemed so real. One held a piece of dark bread; the other grasped and ‘broke’ it. Before I had a chance to question the scene, instantly a brilliant light shone from above and just in front of me. With my eyes closed still, I looked up to see Jesus just meters away, a few meters off the ground. Every molecule in my being knew it was Him.
It seemed like time stood still as I observed Him. Before I could think to ask any questions two rays of light came from his forehead and heart, joining in front of me and bathing me in an iridescent and effervescent feeling that went to the depths of my soul. I would have been quite satisfied with just having that experience alone. I cannot describe how transcendent if felt, totally embraced by a loving sensation beyond anything I’d felt – except when I entered the Light as a teenager.
In the next moment He began speaking to me directly. “I would like to speak through you,” He said. Immediately the mental battle began to try and deny the experience because I was ‘unworthy.’ My mind echoed the words of my adoptive mother, a month prior, warning me about ‘channeling.’ Here was the ultimate connection, right in front of me. What could I do? How could I be sure? Everything in my being was telling me this was real beyond any doubt, yet I was overcome with it [doubt].
I broke down and cried like never before… feeling all the pain I had suffered from adoption, betrayal and divorce welling up from inside that cache of unhealed emotions we carry throughout our lives. I had never felt that depth of crying, like I was purging the very depths of my suffering. It was excruciating as my gut wrenched in this sensation. Then, as if by magic I felt it release. I chose to let go of my doubt and fear, sensing that this was one of the most important moments of my life and I better be fully present to experience it. I simply ‘had’ to let go of whatever was holding me back no matter what, as if my life depended on it.
After a few more sobs I took a few deep breaths and relaxed, opened my mouth and simply let go. It felt so weird, like I was leaping off a cliff not knowing I could fly. “Know that I AM with you always,” were the first words out of my mouth. Whew, that felt so great to hear. After a pause Jesus/I continued, “This one’s fear is great (I felt he was speaking of me).” I took issue, began to question him and felt a pleasant whoosh as we left the current scene and went to a place where He and I talked for a while, free of the rest of the group. I was still delivering a message, but didn’t need to be there to hear it evidently. I think quantum science guys would call this ‘non-local’ awareness or consciousness.
I was totally unaware of my body as we talked. This may sound really odd, but he told me our fears were the same – of not fulfilling our Divine Mission. That is why my fear was great. I was his brother, from the same Creators. I was dumbfounded and knew this was news I could not share with anyone – especially after seeing the group behavior in a secluded environment away from judgment or persecution. It was amazing at how fast my mind was taking all this in. As if he were inside my head and a very real part of me. As soon as I became aware I was thinking about my mind and its perturbations, he chimed in with an explanation of his own battle – what we’ve chronicled as a 40-day and night battle with Satan.
First, He told me that my understanding of where the name [Satan] came from was correct, the Greek ‘thetan’ – meaning ‘thinker.’ I found that out years ago when I was researching Biblical references and their Aramaic, Greek and Hebrew roots. It sounded so easily manipulated into the current name that no one challenged the change. Of course in Constantine’s time any questions were met with swift annihilation. Humans were steeped in ‘duality’ from superstitions developed about day and night long ago. They [superstitions] were carried forward in the consciousness of mankind and used by those who wanted to have dominance over populations. He knew he had to address those and found himself in the desert, battling his own thoughts about ‘common knowledge’ and the ‘truth.’ He relayed that there is no ‘devil’ except in the minds of humanity.
He showed me some video vignettes (as best as I can describe) that highlighted some of the stories that we’ve been led to misunderstand throughout history. He confirmed much of what I’d questioned based on my own discovery after entering the Light and returning myself. I felt like I was on fire inside, like I was being consumed by this data dump of divinity. He showed me a few scenes about my own life as well, where I had trusted my gut in differing from the common knowledge, no matter how I was viewed as a result. He noted I had kept true to myself even at the risk of rejection. He went on to share examples of letting go and trusting in All That Is, feeling the LOVE, the limitless oscillating vibrational energy, all around us. Love frees the mind to join with the heart as ONE. So simple, yet so profoundly challenging.
So my experience was an internal conversation with Jesus, smattered with videobackground (we can also call them ‘visions’), about some very important issues to me: authentic deep conversations and fear of failing ‘my mission’ here on Earth primarily. Jesus shared that our fears were the same and that to anchor in the feeling of LOVE, limitless oscillating vibrational energy, fends off all fear. I simply needed to ‘let go’ and trust…just trust and allow. I saw several examples during the process; short ‘visions’ of how things had already done so. It took me back to the ‘white light’ experience I had as a teenager, bouncing back and forth in my consciousness in this present moment. There was a sense of completion and I paused in my thoughts.
Next thing I knew, I was aware there were branches snapping and I was hearing the sounds of my immediate environment in the woods once again. I didn’t know where I had been, but I was definitely returning from somewhere else. I sat with eyes closed for a moment longer, absorbing all that just happened with the utmost humility and reverence. I opened my eyes to see the others staring at me with gaping mouths. I looked over to see a couple of hikers coming our way, which is where the sound of breaking branches no doubt came. I don’t know what was said to this day. I know what I experienced and heard. Others said they saw him as he first appeared and ‘shined the light’ on me, too. Wow, what a trip…
I didn’t have the desire to speak for several hours afterward. When asked a question or someone tried to engage me, all I could do was utter a ‘mmmmmmm’ sound as I was still feeling the feeling of total love and union. The meditation produced very profound things, bringing us all to a new understanding of what Jesus meant by, “Know that I Am with you always.” Indeed, He took me by the hand and led me toward the promised land. I am so blessed to have had that experience and to feel the presence of knowledge and wisdom beyond our human frailties.
The prevailing feeling was that Jesus was REALLY THERE! The entire group sensed His presence and some even swore they saw Him. Imagine what it would be like to have that opportunity? We do. We have it every moment that we choose to focus our attention on our Elder Brother. From what I gathered, He had a similar discourse with the group regarding the ability we each have of letting go of our doubts and fears. He did make a distinction that religion has no hold on truth. Every human being has the potential of rising into conscious communion with the Divine. There is no ‘saving’ of an individual or human race by his sacrifice. We each are responsible for our actions and accountable to All That Is for our choices.
What I got from the experience was a sense of utter surrender to All That Is, to God, to the Cosmos, to that limitless oscillating vibrational energy which we all are now, have always been and will continue to be. That feeling of connection to everything as ‘love’ is so very challenging to articulate, so we usually just bliss out. In our daily walk we have to balance the bliss with the checkbook, kids, school, spouse and work usually. It is often a challenge to leave our worries behind. I am still challenged daily to live in the faith and trust that each step can be defined from within the Kingdom. I am no one special, but it is my opinion that we, as a human race, need to move beyond the stranglehold our religious leaders have upon us now. We need to put the books down and raise our eyes to meet one another as relatives on Earth as one family.
Paul wrote about the “peace that surpasseth understanding.” “Shanti” is the ancient Sanskrit word for the “Peace which surpasseth understanding.” Imagine having it all the time. Jesus message, for me, was that it is available all the time as “I Am with you always.” I must make it clear that He was not about professing that ‘Christianity’ was somehow above the other religions. Quite the contrary. Religion has served to separate mankind. It is NOT what consciousness, albeit cosmic, brings to our awareness. Indeed, there is ONE Creation, but no one religion presents that we are all part of God – everyone.
The only thing that keeps us separate is our beliefs, which are false in that regard. Anything or anyone that professes that separation is any part of God whatsoever is a False Prophet. We are One People on One Planet… period. Jesus and all those like him, of which there have been many, have attempted to get this point across to humanity from an inner perspective… the WORD is written in our hearts. We choose to allow others control and dominance over our lives… and we have been choosing in error.
The BEAST is our MIND… Our bodies are all carbon-based (6 protons, 6 neutrons and 6 electrons) so materially, physically – we are all the same! “It is a number of knowledge and wisdom (science). Let he who hath understanding interpret the number. It is the number of man. That number being 666.” You can argue the point all you want. If you consider the concept of ‘we are all sons and daughters’ then from a perspective of ONEness, one creation if you will, it just makes sense that this kind of obvious simplicity is hidden in our very biological nature.
It is not surprising that the information I’ve garnered from contactee experiences throughout my life echoes the very same notions that Jesus presented to me that day. We are all relatives, a part of the Earth Family, and able to rise in our consciousness to the knowledge, wisdom and , above all, experience of our connection with All That Is. The ‘new’ living awareness will lead us toward a new world order of harmony among people and planet in our lifetime.
In response to the confusion of transparency and the notion that the world is ‘just that way’ in how it seems to devalue others… I hear what you’re saying and let’s not get real or be honest is what it seems you are trying to convince yourself is okay. Let’s hide and not be free to be trusting or vulnerable with who we are and not care what others think.
It doesn’t mean you blurt it out without provocation. It does mean that when you are asked a question that you reveal without fear of reprisal or restriction. It means that when you feel the subtle movement to speak that you do, but not from a place that is marginalized. That’s a mental construct that constricts the ability of heart-centered communication to be fully present in any situation.
Perhaps the ridiculous and naive is closer to innocence and naivety as a present action that allows the refreshing and unexpected to happen. It cannot happen when you hold back for fear of whatever excuses you might think is appropriate in the moment. I understand that the world often operates differently, but if we don’t the world won’t change. We are the change. It’s risky business… “People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals and you know it.”
In reality, I live this… or at least the best I can. It hasn’t been easy by any stretch of the imagination. It’s been worth every challenge and change, every moment of confronting fears and transcending to some new level of awareness. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, yet I wouldn’t change it for the world. It’s how we change the world… we risk letting go and engage deeper levels of faith, love and trust. 🙂