During this season we are particularly attuned to the attitude of gratitude toward the people, places and things in our lives. We set aside our thoughts and feelings of what is wrong with our lives and the world for just a moment in time. It allows us to invite a spirit of family and togetherness beyond our normal daily routines.
In my coaching practice I encounter a consistent mindset that focuses on what is not wanted. Folks are dismayed by the events and people in their lives that seem to reflect these undesirable situations on a continual basis. We often shift this focus, through mindful practice, to that of an attitude of gratitude for those desirable situations that are always present, too.
What does that do for the beneficial evolution of one’s life and/or perspective?
Consider the notions presented by much of the material over the last decade or so regarding the nature of how we attract what we think and feel strongly. Some refer to this as the Law of Attraction, but the concept and philosophy has been around for centuries under different labels. Just take a moment and reflect, if you would, on how your life has been very different when you experience situations that edify your humanity, your good will and those who example that toward and with you and others.
What did you discover?
Your world of personal and professional relationships is full of desirable and undesirable situations, right? If you could determine a ratio of desirable to undesirable situations, what might it be? Are you satisfied with that? Is it possible to change that ration for the better? Do you want to? When?
Imagine the results of changing your perception just slightly. It’s hard to shift your emotions, how you feel, when the situations have emotional triggers that take you out of the sense of continuity or flow, right? Sometimes we have moments of just observing the situation for what it is, completely removed from our personal emotional state and/or view of the reasons for it happening. That is a very powerful position and full of possibility. Possibility of what?, you might ask.
We can grow in compassion and understanding when we are able to disengage our own emotions and our attachment to the outcome of the situation. It is what it is and it will resolve according to the emotions and perceptions of those in it. Does that make sense? We’ve heard about the notion that when you change your view, your perception, the world changes automatically.
Imagine what an attitude of gratitude for the challenges we face can do for changing perspectives. It frees us from the emotional turmoil often associated with undesirable results. It also allows us to refocus on desirable outcomes and work toward them instead. A lack of communication is often the culprit as well.
Too often we engage situations with unspoken and unfulfilled expectations that affect our internal engine, so to speak. Instead of running efficiently we choke and sputter because our supply of fuel is diminished. So it is with communication. We are often hindered by our fear of rejection or resistance, so we remain quiet and then walk away feeling emotionally damaged. How does that help?
One simple thing can make all the difference in the world. It may feel scary at worst, but at least uncomfortable, yet we simply must open our mouths and say what is on our mind and/or heart. It might stir others and cause a disruption in the perceived flow of the situation, but the result will take the outcome to a new height in relation-ship building. In effect, you’ve just created another level of transparency.
What happens when people know more about each other and the situation at hand? Can they deal with it more effectively? Does it offer opportunity for achievement beyond the previous constraints? I would venture to say that, in nearly all situations, there is a sense of gratitude that things were spoken that everyone was feeling but no one was willing to offer for discussion.
So, in conclusion I would like to offer and even suggest that when you feel tension in a situation rather than allow it to continue, you might engage an attitude of gratitude for the opportunity to help make things better for everyone. Beyond the resistance or turmoil it may create, temporarily, you’ll garner a deeper respect for yourself and from others. Remember.. Your attitude determines your altitude.
Thanks for letting me in today. Have a Happy Thanksgiving!